Why you should think twice before doing what you feel like doing

“Do what you feel” is NOT good advice.
Here’s why:
It’s overly simplistic.
Open to misinterpretation.
Doesn’t factor in a whole host of nuances, and elements.

Public safety is one such important element that it doesn’t factor in.
You can’t do whatever you feel like if that puts others at risk.
If you don’t agree, think about this: how will you feel (or react) if someone doing “what they felt like doing” put you and/or your loved ones in jeopardy?

“Do what you feel” is really not the absolute black and white advice it sounds like.
A better, more accurate, advice is more along the lines of: do what you feel like after you have thought it through, it does not harm, and is good for you.

You do have to take all three of these factors into account:
1. Think through the consequences
2. No harm done
3. Beneficial for you

It all falls apart if you miss out on even one of those.

The first one involves critical thinking – that’s a big part of this process.
No critical thinking can lead to serious implications.
To you and others, or worse – to both!

The second factor, no harm done, also has serious consequences for you, and others.
You should live a life that doesn’t cause harm to others.
That’s one of our basic human duties.

As for the third critical factor, if there’s no benefit to you it will cause dissatisfaction, and lack of personal growth.
It’s not the same as being selfish though, because you certainly can be generous. The point here is that you should look after yourself too.
Helping others is not a zero sum game, and is not the same as being a martyr.

At the end of the day, it’s all about balance.
It’s about being smart about the whole thing.
It’s about thinking for yourself.

So whenever you come across an overly simplistic advice like that, think about it (and I mean really think it through) before accepting and/or acting on it.

Embracing your uniqueness

Being different isn’t a bad thing.
Even though that seems to be the predominant idea.

What others think of you is not nearly as important as you think.
In fact, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter at all.
What’s more important is to be who you are, and being genuine and authentic.

When you try to fit in, you spend a huge amount of time and energy on being someone you are not.
That holds you back, and stops you from tapping into your full potential.

A better option (if not the best) is to just be who you are.
That makes your life a lot easier.
And happier.
And better.

Rather than worrying about what others think of you, spend your time and energy on your goals, aspirations and ambitions.

Focus on the life you want to create.
On the person you want to be.
On the legacy you want to leave.
On the dent in the universe you want to make.
Those are the things that really matter at the end of the day, and not what others think of you.

Stop conforming.
Embrace your uniqueness.
Be who you are.

Selective outrage

Selective outrage is when someone claims to be outraged about something, but only when it somehow benefits them.
This is vastly different from genuine outrage.

You will know the difference when the same person is silent during other similar (if not exactly the same) situations.
Often because they are friends with the person who is the perpetrator.
Or because it doesn’t benefit them.
Or a combination of the two.

It’s a very opportunistic behaviour.
And unfortunately the media (including social media) is full of such behaviour.
To gage someone’s authenticity, all you really need to do is ask yourself if there’s something in it for the person.
If there is, then the answer (and their motive) becomes pretty clear.

Have integrity.
If you believe something, stand up for it.
If not, don’t make noise about it as your lack of passion and belief will become apparent (if not today then someday, but it will).

Life is too short to live lies.
Live your truth.

Do you buy things you don’t need to impress others?

Materialism is a big part of the validation seeking culture that’s become dominant these days.
More often than not people buy stuff not because they really need them, but because they want to show off and belong.

Think about the last time you bought the latest gadget or a branded clothing item.
Did you buy it because you absolutely needed it?
Or because you thought it’ll make you look good to others?

Humans are social animals.
We have evolved to seek connection.
Part of that connection, unfortunately often, hinges on conformity and validation.
But it’s a flawed mentality.

Being like the people you want to like you, or trying to impress them, might get you their approval in the short term, but in the long term it leads to unhappiness.
Not just that, that strategy is unsustainable as you are trying to be someone you are not, doing what you can’t afford to.

So if you’re spending money you don’t have on things you don’t need, how smart do you think you are being?

Showing off is a waste of time.
And money.
And time.
And energy.
Be smart, and think before you spend your resources.

Stop showing off.
Do what really matters.
Spend your time and resources wisely.

How do you treat people who can’t do anything for you?

It’s easy to be nice to people who you can get things from.
People who can do you favours.
People who can help you, and benefit you, in some way or another.
Those type of people are easy to be nice to, because you know you can (potentially) get something from them.

But what about people who can do absolutely nothing for you?
How do you treat people like that?

Only being nice to people who can benefit you is a very opportunistic way of living.
Life is more than just give and take. Living well and being good is more than just figuring out what you can get from someone else.

People who are assholes to those who they believe are beneath them, or is of no benefit to them, are assholes.
Don’t be one.

Treat everyone like you’d like to be treated – with respect.
Do unto others and all that.

How do you treat people who can’t do anything for you?