Mindset of entitlement

Bullies have a mindset of entitlement.
They believe they are entitled to whatever it is they want.

Some people just have this mindset.
They just believe that they are “entitled” to stuff.

The reality is, they are entitled to nothing.

I hate that sort of mindset, that sort of mentality.
That’s one of the reasons why I hate assholes.

No one is “entitled” to anything.
You earn what you deserve…
Or, you deserve nothing.

Never have a sense of entitlement.
Earn it.

The standards we use to judge others

I read a post by Seth Godin some time back, about our “fundamental attribution error”.
Here’s an excerpt from his post which expands on that concept:
“When someone else screws up, it’s because of who they are, their race, their upbringing… a glimpse into their true character. When we do something, it’s because the situation we’re in caused it to happen”.

We do tend to judge others by standards different from the ones we use to judge ourselves.
That’s why it’s easier to discriminate and blame and act badly towards others, especially when they drop the ball.

The thing is, it is easier to judge when the subject of judgment isn’t you.
It is easier to judge because it makes you feel superior.
It is easier to judge because it can make you feel like your life, your beliefs, your achievements, etc are worth more than that of others.
It is also easier to judge because it helps you feel like you belong – with all the others who are judging.

Judging can give you a sense of power, but it’s a false sense of power.
Judging others doesn’t empower you. If anything, it does the opposite.

Judging is easy.
But it isn’t good.
Nor is it right.

The next time you feel like judging someone, ask yourself – how would you like to be judged if you were in their shoes?

Do unto others…

Make politeness the default

“Life is too fucking short to be an asshole.”
If I remember correctly, that’s something I heard from Louis CK.
It’s a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with.

I’ve written about the importance of politeness before.
Growing up, the importance of good manners, respect and politeness was emphasised – respect more than others.
I vividly remember the plaque my grandfather had on politeness…

In my linear brain and black and white thinking, politeness takes up quite a bit of import.
That’s the default position as far as I’m concerned.
At the end of the day, what’s the point of not being polite, and why won’t you be?

It doesn’t take much to be polite.
It’s an easy thing to do, and has huge upsides.
It makes your, and everyone else’s life, better.
Life is short, so why not make politeness your default response?

That said, I do have exceptions, namely if someone is being an asshole.
Then I’m often the biggest asshole they’ve ever come across.

I can be better though.
I’m working on being more patient…
But apart from those instigators and stupid situations, politeness always is my default.
I’m in no way perfect, but I do try, and will continue to do so.

Politeness is a great default response to have.
Life gets better for everyone when politeness is the default.
So make it your default.

Above all, don’t be an asshole.
Life really is too fucking short.

Understanding your caveats, and limits

I really enjoy walking.
But only if I’m exploring something new (mainly when I’m travelling).
Even that I sometimes don’t like much if I don’t like the company.
Otherwise, I don’t like walking.
Walking just for the sake of it never appealed to me.

I love learning things.
But only if it’s something new.
And/or it’s something particularly interesting.
And/or there is some point to it.
If it’s boring, or dry, or I have no interest in it, then I hate it.
That’s one of the reasons why I’ve always hated exams.

I love doing (lots of) things.
But only if they intrigue me, and I enjoy them.
And/or I’m helping someone.
And/or it’s something new.
If I’ve already done it before and/or it’s mundane, I have absolutely no interest in it, and will hate every second I spend doing it.
This is why I lose all interest in a piece of work once I’ve completed it. Once it’s done, I don’t want to see it anymore. Onto the next thing.

I love reading.
But subject to my curiosity parameters.

I absolutely love helping people.
But not if they’re ungrateful.

I am always polite.
Unless the other person is rude.

I’m always kind.
Until the other person is not.

And so on…

It is good to know your caveats, and limits.
We all have them.
The sooner you accept them, the sooner you will get out of your own way.

What are your caveats, and limits?

How do you treat people who can’t do anything for you?

It’s easy to be nice to people who you can get things from.
People who can do you favours.
People who can help you, and benefit you, in some way or another.
Those type of people are easy to be nice to, because you know you can (potentially) get something from them.

But what about people who can do absolutely nothing for you?
How do you treat people like that?

Only being nice to people who can benefit you is a very opportunistic way of living.
Life is more than just give and take. Living well and being good is more than just figuring out what you can get from someone else.

People who are assholes to those who they believe are beneath them, or is of no benefit to them, are assholes.
Don’t be one.

Treat everyone like you’d like to be treated – with respect.
Do unto others and all that.

How do you treat people who can’t do anything for you?